Windows of Opportunity

8:30pm I'm about to embark to Long Beach to hang out with Mark & Charlie. A nice and simple night of hanging out on my day off.

Internal conflict. Javier logged on AOL earlier today to see me in a chat room. I wouldn't guess that he knows me well enough to know that I only go in chat rooms to talk and be silly, regardless, he has the impression that I was there to hook-up and have sex. This, after I expressly stated otherwise. He firmed it up with an e-mail in response to something playful I sent him as a way of furthering communication. So here's the conflict.... one part of me says, "This is too much drama too early on to deal with so let it go now while you truly have not invested too much." ....the other part says, "He's young, probably been lied to before or hurt in some way to make him think this way so try and reassure him of who I really am and work past this because he seems like a genuinely great guy to be around." As much as it is going to pain me to do this... I'm going to sit on this for 24 hours and let it simmer. It's something that I wouldn't ordinarily do because my impulse is telling me to call and resolve this. That's the impatient side of me. So I'm trying this something different in the hopes that maybe the outcome will be different.

Fuck.