Sitting naked in my bed

11:05p.m. My therapy appointment was changed to tomorrow at 8a.m. Not my choice, but if I waited until the next available date it would've been longer. I spent about an hour earlier today writing down everything that I think that I want to talk about---or at least the things that seem to be relevant. I had to stop because I realized that I had put every aspect of my life down on paper.

I was online early this morning typing with my sister. I was sharing with her like I would other friends. We talked of boys and life. It was very nice.

There's a lesson I've learned before that I am reminded of now. The CANDY cologne actually started my brain. It was an outstanding coincidence that makes me touch my back and sigh.

My school registration papers came in the mail today. I've torn the perforated edges and made an "anarchy" "A" (sans the circle) with the pieces of paper. So much of me doesn't want to go tomorrow morning. But what can it hurt? Worst case---I'm out $10.

I saw The Matrix: Reloaded for the 3rd time tonight. This time with Ken.

quick thought: what I can't get but want from someone younger. What I wanted at that age? What I still want now? And if I know this, can't I change it or was it meant to be changed? At what point do I accept that this is part of my personality or decide to try and change it? (That's the question I wrote down earlier on my paper of thoughts)

Another phone call with Chuck today. We exchanged updates. I want to have a talk with his other half and try to get him to understand how much Chuck changed and been there for him... but that would just be shifting focus from myself again. I'm an expert at it. But again, isn't that just part of who I am and how I function? Or is it how I disfunction?

I ran tonight. Took a shower and then started typing. I'm all dry now. Body temperature back to normal. No more sweating. I hate being patient for my body to shape.....and to accept this drug.