Embrace

2:40am Finding ourselves. It's a lifetime in the looking and yet we are always who we are. Even in wanting to be someone else, we are still us.

Nathan is here. YES! Such life surges through me. I can feel his pain. I can sense how much he wants to let it all go. I've so rarely been that friend for him. I have a way about me that doesn't always let that tenderness flow and I know it's from being a product of my own environment. We drove to LAX after work and met with Lanny for 20 minutes while he was in between flights from Hawaii back home to Florida. He was such a happier person than the last time that I saw him. It was apparent. I liked watching Nathan reconnect with him. It was "lil brother and big bro" together. Sensitive eyes begin to glaze.

How do I feel? I've been asking myself that question a lot lately. I know it's because I'm anticipating some large scale mood change when the reality is that the change will be gradual and I most likely wont notice anything earth shattering. No drama. I feel like dancing. I feel like laying out in the sun. I feel like kissing soft lips. I feel like I can rest my head and dream of the phone calls that will wake.