Cardwell and I are on his balcony and listen to the water as it makes its way down to the pond. He suggests that I just hang out at the pool instead of going to the beach and deal with the sand. He puffs on the cigarette, but the smell doesn't bother me because I'm already deep into a mood.
We're back at his place from lunch at TGIF with Eddy, Rey, Joe (Ortiz) and the two of us. A headache that I woke up with started to dull but now is intense and throbbing. I think it has a lot to do with my environment. I'm already two aspirin under, and I've just taken two Tylenol to compliment.
He finds the sunblock and I apply it to my tattoo. I realize that I do capture a lot of moments but I have never connected them together to tell a story. I have never put the effort into sewing up all of the moments and they begin to sag. Sagittarius.
My hands are not steady. Shaking. Motorcycle - "As The Rush Comes"
Monday, March 29, 2004
Friday, March 26, 2004
Kinky Staples
It's like I'm not really part of this world. Or if it's not like that it's like I'm this crazy artist but I'm too afraid to be that person and I walk in line with the rest of the monkeys.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
O P A Q U E
There was a night while living in Woodbridge where all the power went out and Randy and I drove around in the darkness. It was eerie.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
All that glitters is sometimes Silver.
I saw BT spin for $10. It's a random sentence for a random occurrence. I was having a spontaneous dinner @ Marix with Eddy. Cardwell--as is normal when in deep sleep--did not answer his phone to join.
In a 24hr span, I found myself in West Hollywood surrounded by lesbians at the dinner table and then sitting on the concrete/brick steps in front of the Long Beach Performing Arts Center watching the water fountains. In that time, there was a lot of talk about purpose...and finding one's own purpose in life. I remember that haunting me for a long time. I sometimes forget that Eddy is 21, at the same age I was when I dated Chuck and at a time when I was truly coming into understanding that the world was not all that I had thought it to be. Even my journals from that time are sparce because I wasn't sure from one day to the next where my path was leading me. I didn't trust myself enough to follow my instincts. I didn't know enough to trust my head and my heart was beating too fast to catch it.
I woke up this afternoon with a renewed interest in seeing the "special edition" of my Moulin Rouge DVD so I went downstairs and began going through the 2nd DVD. Videos, extended dance routines, a lil on the behind the scenes making-of stuff. What I found myself really wanting to watch were the chapter sequences of "Your Song" and "Come What May." Music and/or song really does communicate on a different level. If I were to read the words from those chapters or simply watch the actors speak the words to each other, it wouldn't make me cry. But alone, snuggled up to cushions with the surround sound up loud so that you can hear every breath and quiver in the performance it strikes locks in my head and little trickles are formed. I think of the kind of love that I am capable of giving....and then the thoughts of "purpose" float back.
I've long held a belief that I was never meant for one person, though this is the social belief I was raised to have. So fighting an instinct that has no way of being tangible and the years of conditioning from culture is noisome to the psyche if I were to let both sides wage all out aggression. I think I've tried to deny my instinct here for a long time. When I say not one person, I don't mean the antithesis, that I should run around slutting around---what I mean is that I've always had this sense that I come into someone's life as there is some change happening and I'm there for a reason and then I move on or they do, or we both do. In most cases I maintian my friendship with them, but it's not the relationship that was ever meant to be sustained. If I could come to terms and truly believe that, then I might live a life in that purpose and be rid of this other side that wants the house, kids, marriage license and the Summer vacations together. hahaha... good luck on that dream ever fading away.
While having dinner, Eddy & I shared a Kick Ass pitcher of Midori Margaritas. I called Jenny (Nathan's cousin) and she's the one who said she could get us on the guest list for BT. Why not? I was feeling spontaneous with that ever nagging sense of responsibility in the back of my head.
The event was being held at Avalon, the same place where about a month ago I had spent time for Unity. Gay events and straight events at this same venue have their differences and similarities. All the straight guys keep their shirts on. Only girls dance on the boxes. But on both nights, people were high, having sex in the dark corners and balconies, but most of all, dancing in that cosmic togetherness where strangers smile and talk to strangers and no matter how you move to the music, your movement is a positive force circulating.
In a couple hours there will be people here for Movie Night. A few hours after that I will be at work.
Do you know what a hapster is?
In a 24hr span, I found myself in West Hollywood surrounded by lesbians at the dinner table and then sitting on the concrete/brick steps in front of the Long Beach Performing Arts Center watching the water fountains. In that time, there was a lot of talk about purpose...and finding one's own purpose in life. I remember that haunting me for a long time. I sometimes forget that Eddy is 21, at the same age I was when I dated Chuck and at a time when I was truly coming into understanding that the world was not all that I had thought it to be. Even my journals from that time are sparce because I wasn't sure from one day to the next where my path was leading me. I didn't trust myself enough to follow my instincts. I didn't know enough to trust my head and my heart was beating too fast to catch it.
I woke up this afternoon with a renewed interest in seeing the "special edition" of my Moulin Rouge DVD so I went downstairs and began going through the 2nd DVD. Videos, extended dance routines, a lil on the behind the scenes making-of stuff. What I found myself really wanting to watch were the chapter sequences of "Your Song" and "Come What May." Music and/or song really does communicate on a different level. If I were to read the words from those chapters or simply watch the actors speak the words to each other, it wouldn't make me cry. But alone, snuggled up to cushions with the surround sound up loud so that you can hear every breath and quiver in the performance it strikes locks in my head and little trickles are formed. I think of the kind of love that I am capable of giving....and then the thoughts of "purpose" float back.
I've long held a belief that I was never meant for one person, though this is the social belief I was raised to have. So fighting an instinct that has no way of being tangible and the years of conditioning from culture is noisome to the psyche if I were to let both sides wage all out aggression. I think I've tried to deny my instinct here for a long time. When I say not one person, I don't mean the antithesis, that I should run around slutting around---what I mean is that I've always had this sense that I come into someone's life as there is some change happening and I'm there for a reason and then I move on or they do, or we both do. In most cases I maintian my friendship with them, but it's not the relationship that was ever meant to be sustained. If I could come to terms and truly believe that, then I might live a life in that purpose and be rid of this other side that wants the house, kids, marriage license and the Summer vacations together. hahaha... good luck on that dream ever fading away.
While having dinner, Eddy & I shared a Kick Ass pitcher of Midori Margaritas. I called Jenny (Nathan's cousin) and she's the one who said she could get us on the guest list for BT. Why not? I was feeling spontaneous with that ever nagging sense of responsibility in the back of my head.
The event was being held at Avalon, the same place where about a month ago I had spent time for Unity. Gay events and straight events at this same venue have their differences and similarities. All the straight guys keep their shirts on. Only girls dance on the boxes. But on both nights, people were high, having sex in the dark corners and balconies, but most of all, dancing in that cosmic togetherness where strangers smile and talk to strangers and no matter how you move to the music, your movement is a positive force circulating.
In a couple hours there will be people here for Movie Night. A few hours after that I will be at work.
Do you know what a hapster is?
Monday, March 22, 2004
Snores Ignores
Just finished watching Moulin Rouge here @ Cardwell's place. Both the boys fell asleep on each side of me. By the end scene where the climax of love is sung out loud, I had the the dual snoring of Eddy & Randy.
Now I'm transferring music. It's a slow process and never fast of enough for me. Maybe I'll just listen to it instead of trying to type.
Now I'm transferring music. It's a slow process and never fast of enough for me. Maybe I'll just listen to it instead of trying to type.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Ying Yang with a Bang
....it's this idea of energy again. I was walking yesterday and in my head I could see how it's passed around. Sometimes someone has a lot of it and they're happy, or they have too little and they're sad and it's these people who are the extremes that are constantly pulling toward each other to level out.
There is no constant to the energy. High days. Low days. it's the absence of high days that drive -people to insanity. Finding a good group that will give & take; equal out the flow of energy is essential. In the absence of such a network, there is surely no way to gain stability alone. Few of us are self-sustaining energy houses. (And if we are....we're the ones that are needed to seek out and supply those without.)
Even vexations are present so that they may take something away. What if they never did? How much more terribly vexing could they be. It is this truth that causes pause and a knowledge that I am not fully prepared to undertake. I understand more than I want to.
And all this came from the smile of a child who said, "Hi" as I walked by him and his mother.
There is no constant to the energy. High days. Low days. it's the absence of high days that drive -people to insanity. Finding a good group that will give & take; equal out the flow of energy is essential. In the absence of such a network, there is surely no way to gain stability alone. Few of us are self-sustaining energy houses. (And if we are....we're the ones that are needed to seek out and supply those without.)
Even vexations are present so that they may take something away. What if they never did? How much more terribly vexing could they be. It is this truth that causes pause and a knowledge that I am not fully prepared to undertake. I understand more than I want to.
And all this came from the smile of a child who said, "Hi" as I walked by him and his mother.
Pushing back the cuticles
Having feelings for a friend that are something more than friendship when that person does not return the feelings is a little like working with someone that you don't like: there is an inherent relationship that still must function regardless of personal feelings. But not true I hear you say. In one relationship you are bound by the structure of "the job" to work with someone whereas in friendship you are not bound by anything to remain friends. While true, I would argue that friendship itself forms a structure--depending on how deeply rooted it is. You may not be receiving a paycheck to stay within that structure, but neither are you required to stay in a job. Again.... I see perspective.
I let a slightly inebriated Joey & Cardwell read my private journal. I'm not sure why exactly. Part of me is tired of keeping it secret, part of me is trying to share the more creative prose that I haven't been exercising enough of.
While at dinner with Michael & Joey and Cardwell, I saw a woman sitting in a booth by herself that struck me as an aged Kim Minor (Wheeler). Upon a longer look I could see that there were facial features that were definitely not her, but it was odd for a brief time.
On my last break @ 2:15, I talked with Eddy & Rey individually. Seems that the two are stuck out in Riverside after a night of elegance in the I.E.'s mega-posh V.I.P. Silly Chitlans. Everything is fun at it's designated time and space. I remember making out with Rey last Summer and I'm glad we're still friends.
Sometimes I dress up just to feel nice. It helps when a good hair day matches the outfit. :-)
I let a slightly inebriated Joey & Cardwell read my private journal. I'm not sure why exactly. Part of me is tired of keeping it secret, part of me is trying to share the more creative prose that I haven't been exercising enough of.
While at dinner with Michael & Joey and Cardwell, I saw a woman sitting in a booth by herself that struck me as an aged Kim Minor (Wheeler). Upon a longer look I could see that there were facial features that were definitely not her, but it was odd for a brief time.
On my last break @ 2:15, I talked with Eddy & Rey individually. Seems that the two are stuck out in Riverside after a night of elegance in the I.E.'s mega-posh V.I.P. Silly Chitlans. Everything is fun at it's designated time and space. I remember making out with Rey last Summer and I'm glad we're still friends.
Sometimes I dress up just to feel nice. It helps when a good hair day matches the outfit. :-)
Friday, March 19, 2004
EarthGod
When I was a child, sometime in elementary school, I used to pray to god to make me normal like the other kids. I didn't want to be different, smarter. There was a time I think in 4th or 5th grade that I once prayed for me to endure the pain that this girl Samantha was going through because of a loss in her family.
The weight a child is willing to bare.
The weight a child is willing to bare.
Too Much in Too Little a Space
I feel like a zit that won't pop.
Haha...while that's a visual, it's not very descriptive. I woke up so tired tonight. It seems that I'm not able to sleep well again. I thought I had this problem solved. In talking to people at work, I'm not alone. Many of them are still struggling to get full 6-8hrs of sleep during the daytime.
I inducted Eddy into "The Haus of Pizza" tonight. We tried calling Cardwell, but he was busy buying a new car for himself and for Linda. I had fun playing with its navigation system and the voice activation. Gadgets, lovely gadgets.
At dinner, Eddy asked why I got back together with Chuck. It was a question that I could look back upon and answer quite easily. The past seems so clear to me. The moments of choices with relationships are easily reviewed and seen for what they were now. Is that wisdom?
In explaning to him why I made the decision that I did, I starting thinking about the choices I am making now. Dating is not something that I am "pursuing." School isn't either. Career progression isn't in the mix. I find my thoughts to be consumed with interpersonal relationships.
Flo's Cafe soon.
Haha...while that's a visual, it's not very descriptive. I woke up so tired tonight. It seems that I'm not able to sleep well again. I thought I had this problem solved. In talking to people at work, I'm not alone. Many of them are still struggling to get full 6-8hrs of sleep during the daytime.
I inducted Eddy into "The Haus of Pizza" tonight. We tried calling Cardwell, but he was busy buying a new car for himself and for Linda. I had fun playing with its navigation system and the voice activation. Gadgets, lovely gadgets.
At dinner, Eddy asked why I got back together with Chuck. It was a question that I could look back upon and answer quite easily. The past seems so clear to me. The moments of choices with relationships are easily reviewed and seen for what they were now. Is that wisdom?
In explaning to him why I made the decision that I did, I starting thinking about the choices I am making now. Dating is not something that I am "pursuing." School isn't either. Career progression isn't in the mix. I find my thoughts to be consumed with interpersonal relationships.
Flo's Cafe soon.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Lifing a crock pot
In front of me I see these paths and the decision to walk each one seems futile and humorous when I believe they all end in the same place. It is said that life is about the journey, not the destination.
When I have roots in a world of people who were driven to strive for more than the "average" person, I feel that drive within me still. Having lived outside of that world for a long time now, I feel that there is an equal level of importance in being content with not stiving to be more. A part of me will always worry about why those that choose to pursue knowledge and skills will look down upon those that do not. Schism.
Sometimes I have the sense that my energies are needed for something greater than what they are currently being used for. Sometimes I'm very grounded by a sense that my energies are distributed and working as they should within a framework that they are needed in. Sometimes I am troubled by a sense that by imposing my own desires, my energies are distracted from being utilized productively. It's when I think that I am going stagnant that someone will say something to me and I realize that interacting with them was worth whatever doubt I felt in myself.
The sphere of friendship that I find in the gamut from Nathan to Cardwell to Mark to Arturo to Edwyn and Rey to Hackett and Ortiz to my roommate Art to Javier is an ever expanding and tightening energy net. Our lives exist on a physical plane together while pulling away and getting closer on emotional and philosophical planes.
If it were simple, might it already be done?
When I have roots in a world of people who were driven to strive for more than the "average" person, I feel that drive within me still. Having lived outside of that world for a long time now, I feel that there is an equal level of importance in being content with not stiving to be more. A part of me will always worry about why those that choose to pursue knowledge and skills will look down upon those that do not. Schism.
Sometimes I have the sense that my energies are needed for something greater than what they are currently being used for. Sometimes I'm very grounded by a sense that my energies are distributed and working as they should within a framework that they are needed in. Sometimes I am troubled by a sense that by imposing my own desires, my energies are distracted from being utilized productively. It's when I think that I am going stagnant that someone will say something to me and I realize that interacting with them was worth whatever doubt I felt in myself.
The sphere of friendship that I find in the gamut from Nathan to Cardwell to Mark to Arturo to Edwyn and Rey to Hackett and Ortiz to my roommate Art to Javier is an ever expanding and tightening energy net. Our lives exist on a physical plane together while pulling away and getting closer on emotional and philosophical planes.
If it were simple, might it already be done?
Free Breeze
1:55am... guzzle down a red bull. My Monday is 2hrs in and I'm in receipt of my new schedule to begin April 11th. Easter to some, White Party to others. It's just another day for me.
2:55am... I am beset by the brilliance of imbeciles most of the night at work. The phone calls. Perhaps I'm just tired. My head throbs.
I was driving around yesterday and smiling in the sun. A version of The Cranberries' "Dreams" was my background noise. I was polluting all the air and surrounding cars with the music.
2:55am... I am beset by the brilliance of imbeciles most of the night at work. The phone calls. Perhaps I'm just tired. My head throbs.
I was driving around yesterday and smiling in the sun. A version of The Cranberries' "Dreams" was my background noise. I was polluting all the air and surrounding cars with the music.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Stilts for the measured man
"I will always have more; I will always be more than you." This is this unspoken message that friendship attempts to ignore while a civil injustice if taking place on one in the relationship. When people who genuinely like each other choose to do this, they perpetuate our separate classes and allow the "tyranny of men [humans]" to grow.
Lorena sent out an e-mail earlier in the week that she had defended her dissertation. I sent a short e-mail back congratulating her. I received a response which provoked this commentary on the injustice of denying marriage to gays & lesbians:
"Alas, the memories of childhood do not override or compensate for the people we become as adults. We must all learn to live with ourselves and be comfortable with the things that we consider to be values. I've never been good at turning the other cheek or letting something slide just because it's politically correct to do so. Injustice is injustice no matter what light is put upon it. In global terms, for a nation to allow injustice to take place for a segment of it's people (let's say female circumcision in some African nations) because that's what the culture says is "okay" does not make it okay. The world looks to Africa and humanistcally says, "Bad bad...how terrible to treat women this way." While it also intellectually
says, "This is culture...what right do we have to interfere with another's customs?" And so philosophy and ethics and debates are formed...Who is right? What is right?
For America to continue to deny civil rights to a segment of it's population (and in this case myself) is not okay. It's not okay for me to have friends who feel that this injustice is okay. It's akin to the white master and the black slave who over time develop a truly genuine friendship. They may eat at the same table in private, be allowed into each other's family lives, know facts about the other that no one else knows, but at the end of the day, one will always be protected and respected in society more because of a purely unjust way of thinking. Sadly, the simple uprising of slaves or indentured servants was never enough to enact social change by itself. Society often has to wait for the proverbial "white master" to "get it" and for them to join the uprising before change happens.
We (Americans) think that we have moved far from the 50's & 60's in this civil strife, but the truth is that we've put a layer of paint over a badly damaged wall and said, "There there...doesn't that look better?" We say the right words in public and in private hold beliefs that limit others. It's ironic that on May 17th (possibly), that the very issue that I raised over a
year ago will be something actually legal in Massachusetts; that will be the beginning of legal battles in California and in other states. But even when marriage becomes legal for me, I will still have to contend with the prejudice that is behind the words on paper or in person. I don't ever want to be around people as friends who feel that it's okay for me to be denied something that they themselves are privy to, especially if the reasoning behind this feeling/belief is religious dogma; antiquated and unchallenged values of a world that does not exist anymore."
Lorena sent out an e-mail earlier in the week that she had defended her dissertation. I sent a short e-mail back congratulating her. I received a response which provoked this commentary on the injustice of denying marriage to gays & lesbians:
"Alas, the memories of childhood do not override or compensate for the people we become as adults. We must all learn to live with ourselves and be comfortable with the things that we consider to be values. I've never been good at turning the other cheek or letting something slide just because it's politically correct to do so. Injustice is injustice no matter what light is put upon it. In global terms, for a nation to allow injustice to take place for a segment of it's people (let's say female circumcision in some African nations) because that's what the culture says is "okay" does not make it okay. The world looks to Africa and humanistcally says, "Bad bad...how terrible to treat women this way." While it also intellectually
says, "This is culture...what right do we have to interfere with another's customs?" And so philosophy and ethics and debates are formed...Who is right? What is right?
For America to continue to deny civil rights to a segment of it's population (and in this case myself) is not okay. It's not okay for me to have friends who feel that this injustice is okay. It's akin to the white master and the black slave who over time develop a truly genuine friendship. They may eat at the same table in private, be allowed into each other's family lives, know facts about the other that no one else knows, but at the end of the day, one will always be protected and respected in society more because of a purely unjust way of thinking. Sadly, the simple uprising of slaves or indentured servants was never enough to enact social change by itself. Society often has to wait for the proverbial "white master" to "get it" and for them to join the uprising before change happens.
We (Americans) think that we have moved far from the 50's & 60's in this civil strife, but the truth is that we've put a layer of paint over a badly damaged wall and said, "There there...doesn't that look better?" We say the right words in public and in private hold beliefs that limit others. It's ironic that on May 17th (possibly), that the very issue that I raised over a
year ago will be something actually legal in Massachusetts; that will be the beginning of legal battles in California and in other states. But even when marriage becomes legal for me, I will still have to contend with the prejudice that is behind the words on paper or in person. I don't ever want to be around people as friends who feel that it's okay for me to be denied something that they themselves are privy to, especially if the reasoning behind this feeling/belief is religious dogma; antiquated and unchallenged values of a world that does not exist anymore."
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Milieu of the Mind
Today Verizon Wireless considers me a vested employee with three years under my belt at the company. A little over three years ago I was working part time at Borders Books and had a temp assignment with a retirement home doing data entry of their work orders. My eyebrow was pierced for the first time then. It was a hoop that had become infected. I would struggle to keep myself awake in the underground parking garage office space in Costa Mesa. I fought my instinct to make their coding system better and adding my $.02 as I was trying to perform a mindless task. I had left Ingram Micro's management team so that I wouldn't have to worry myself with such pressing matters like what is the branding message that we want to present with this product? I was falling in love and that made all of the uncertainty of money just fine.
I was explaining to Cardwell at lunch yesterday that I feel like I'm in this time capsule. I'm aware of certain things moving forward around me, but I'm keeping myself inert. I'm not fond of the choices society has made for itself and don't want to be part of that. Alas, I am part of it all, regardless of whether I swim with the big fish or lay anchored with the coral. Mark says you have to be able to live with yourself. I've done a pretty good job of getting there, but I have a way to go.
So I continue to do something everyday that scares me. I let a little bit more of myself out of the box and the world gets to see something they've never seen before. (And I get to become comfortable amid the expressions I encounter.)
Quick Flash Memories of the last week:
-Trip to Beat It with Tyler, Cardwell & JD
-Story of Eddy crawling through a doggie door in a robe
-Plans for a Sunday Brunch underway with the family
-Dominic gets a card with a jock strap
-Cardwell & I have been spending more time hanging out
-"This wouldn't have happened in Long Beach"
-Nathan remains in my mind, but I'm lost to finding solace there.
-A man who used to sell me Ben & Jerry's ice cream was stabbed to death at the 7-11 less than a mile from the house. Sure, Irvine is safe, but it isn't immune to this plague of our own humanity. I wish I could disperse my energy to them all.... but that would leave me no more.
I was explaining to Cardwell at lunch yesterday that I feel like I'm in this time capsule. I'm aware of certain things moving forward around me, but I'm keeping myself inert. I'm not fond of the choices society has made for itself and don't want to be part of that. Alas, I am part of it all, regardless of whether I swim with the big fish or lay anchored with the coral. Mark says you have to be able to live with yourself. I've done a pretty good job of getting there, but I have a way to go.
So I continue to do something everyday that scares me. I let a little bit more of myself out of the box and the world gets to see something they've never seen before. (And I get to become comfortable amid the expressions I encounter.)
Quick Flash Memories of the last week:
-Trip to Beat It with Tyler, Cardwell & JD
-Story of Eddy crawling through a doggie door in a robe
-Plans for a Sunday Brunch underway with the family
-Dominic gets a card with a jock strap
-Cardwell & I have been spending more time hanging out
-"This wouldn't have happened in Long Beach"
-Nathan remains in my mind, but I'm lost to finding solace there.
-A man who used to sell me Ben & Jerry's ice cream was stabbed to death at the 7-11 less than a mile from the house. Sure, Irvine is safe, but it isn't immune to this plague of our own humanity. I wish I could disperse my energy to them all.... but that would leave me no more.
Friday, March 05, 2004
Tagalogs
What kind of person buys four boxes of cookies with pictures of smiley lil girls on them? One, a pervert who collects the boxes, or two, a fatty Jeremy who is going to chow them down on his own... I never realized how odd the pictures on these boxes looked. On one side of the box it reads,
"You'd be surprised what a Girl Scout Cookie can build: Strong Values, Strong Minds, Strong Bodies, Strong Spirit, Strong Friendships, Strong Skills, Strong Leadership, Strong Community."
Hmm...on the other side of the box is the lack-of-nutrition content. Gobble Gobble.
"You'd be surprised what a Girl Scout Cookie can build: Strong Values, Strong Minds, Strong Bodies, Strong Spirit, Strong Friendships, Strong Skills, Strong Leadership, Strong Community."
Hmm...on the other side of the box is the lack-of-nutrition content. Gobble Gobble.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Where's the team in I?
3:03am
How strange that on my 1st break I should receive phone calls from Eddy & Cardwell. It appears that the night out to Hamburger Mary's Karoke has developed positively for both of their libidos. Ahh... how sweet. (spit!) [or swallow... I don't know.]
Work has been slug-slow. They've taken me off the phones for "training." Here I am....being trained. What am I learning? I'm learning that since Sunday my mood has been elevated and I'm thinking about the things that I want to get done. My consultation appointment for lasik is set. I'm talking more to Tyler online which is endearing and sweet, but idealistic on my part. My reality bone is trying to kick in soon.
3:44am
At work, Tina and I joke about finding my "soul-mate." The joke has carried over to the internet and we've decided that of course Match.Com will be the mechanism from the stars to find this mystery guy. As we logged on tonight to see the list of potential matches, the system wouldn't let me log on. Last night, the database for matching only found straight men. This is a technological omen that my own instincts and public exchanges will probably find my soul-mate faster and more efficiently.
How strange that on my 1st break I should receive phone calls from Eddy & Cardwell. It appears that the night out to Hamburger Mary's Karoke has developed positively for both of their libidos. Ahh... how sweet. (spit!) [or swallow... I don't know.]
Work has been slug-slow. They've taken me off the phones for "training." Here I am....being trained. What am I learning? I'm learning that since Sunday my mood has been elevated and I'm thinking about the things that I want to get done. My consultation appointment for lasik is set. I'm talking more to Tyler online which is endearing and sweet, but idealistic on my part. My reality bone is trying to kick in soon.
3:44am
At work, Tina and I joke about finding my "soul-mate." The joke has carried over to the internet and we've decided that of course Match.Com will be the mechanism from the stars to find this mystery guy. As we logged on tonight to see the list of potential matches, the system wouldn't let me log on. Last night, the database for matching only found straight men. This is a technological omen that my own instincts and public exchanges will probably find my soul-mate faster and more efficiently.
