What Wrinkled People Want

Another holiday weekend passes without a friendly face. I can see how this becomes the norm and how people grow into the old hermits. This is an education that I do not wish to have; but who knows, maybe it's an education that I need. (Or will need)

I jacked off just to see if a) I could & b) if it mattered. Yes & no. And there it is...

And as these words have been assembling all day long, I receive the much needed news from Destiny that someone approached her about me last night/this morning at The Mayan. I also received a text that starts my stepping stones into a new pond that I smile thinking about. I also receive a message from Monica of further darkness...I had been looking at my Grandma Helen plant not too long ago today. Sigh.

On some brighter note: "My words, My Promise" below was written on 5/10/2011:
"I don't say this to condescend at all... You're a young guy and life is unfolding. I can't fucking believe you could be my son because I do not feel that old. Relationships & tricks may come & go, but true friends are around for the long term. Unlike your driving, relationships with people cannot be sped up or made to run smoothly by stepping on the gas pedal ;) Finding people hot & lusting isn't the same as understanding their values, morals & goals & falling in love. Learn to take your time, slow down. You & your b/f deserve to have someone who wants what they want & not someone who is with him/you for security, sex and/or sentimental memories. You'll figure it all out... And when you do, I'll still be around at the very least a friend. :) "

My White Winged Dove

"I held myself back from crying because I didn't want my eyeliner to run." I said to Ray as he dropped me home after the Stevie Nicks performance at the Wiltern Theater tonight. Saying that was another way to keep the tears at bay until I had this moment of writing to myself. But as I wipe the tears from my eyes here in the dark, I think that maybe it was also me holding true to Randy. No tears. Celebrate.

I loved that she took a moment to give a time and moment to each song. As a writer, I appreciated this because music will always take me to a specific period of my life. I was moved by her ability to convey her emotions, not just with words, but in the way her face/body transmitted the emotion. My body was sent into a trance-like tingle when she performed, "Dreams." I had to make sure I didn't close my eyes for too long a period of time because I could feel myself losing balance as I would get swept into a song that remains in my "All Time" favorites list.

Eyes heavy, stinging & I'm sure red now. Nose stuffy, haha. Perfect way to fall asleep & wake with puffy eyes.

May I?

I spent the last hour reading over December 2003 & January 2004 journal entries.

In that time I've received an email from am an infidel...haha. I've had texts from Chuck & Christopher Marshy. It's 12:30am; a show is about to begin at The Palms. I received an echo from my own past in the words of a friend from high school. I was reminded that what seems insignificant to us can be something much greater to someone else.

Compassion is coming to me from sources I was not expecting, but that I desperately need.

I know he's around me. "C'mon you Jackass. Pull yourself together SueEllen." (Is coming out of his mouth)