Starry Starry Night

midnight. Another run. I know I wont be hitting any runner's high from my 1.5 miles a night but I don't foresee me running more than say 3 miles at any one time anyway. I never have. Even at the height of my running craze I was only doing about 2 miles a night. It goes back my me and my patience level I presume. There are bags of chips that need to be opened and eaten. =) (Or pints of ice cream)

I talked with Nathan briefly today. He will be in town this weekend. My work schedule the same I'll only have Sunday & Monday with him. This piece of me feels a sense of calm and safety when we're together. We know so much about each other and I trust that. I really do. No one ever would have suspected that about us so many years ago that we have survived while we don't even speak to those who brought us together.

Randy and I talked on the phone today. Exchanged our experiences with rebound sex. In the past I had always detached myself so much thinking that they physical aspect of the sex was satisfying enough. To some extent that was true. It was probably most true when I conditioned my mind to only seek the act as means of gratifying myself. I got off so mission accomplished so-to-speak. But as I've tried to not detach myself so much I've seen how over the years I can't do that anymore. My feelings are an integral part of the experience. Hence....I have not had sex in a very long time.

Javier called on his way home tonight. I locked myself out of my floor at work going to speak on the phone without thinking about taking my badge with me. Silly, infatuated Jeremy. I hope that the infatuation actually survives the slow burn to knowing and liking someone new.

I've enjoyed talking online with Lena, Josh's friend in the past several nights. She's one of those cosmic connection people; a sense like the old soul in me knows the old soul in her.

In my cool-down walk back to the house, I looked up to the stars. I thought of how I talk to the relatives that I've known that have died, but what of all the hundreds of others that have their DNA in me that I never knew or met? It's the mind and memory that give meaning to the more recent beings. I suspect that the sum of all the parts holds some greater meaning that just isn't fathomable. Not to me anyway. Not yet.