Dawdling

3:40am E-mail surprise. When I got home I had catch-up conversation about Art's trip. I was tired. Yawning. I made it to my room, drew the curtains and created a new winamp play list of slow songs that would put me to sleep. I checked e-mail and had a message from Ryan that was unexpected and nice.

I downloaded DivX viewing codecs. :-)

I see the psycho doctor in a week. It's a brief 15 minute "touch base" session to see how the meds are. Having been on them now for 41 days... nothing really. I want to discuss alternatives. I feel dark still. My mind isn't striving for more than right now, today's dirt, this thought. I want to make plans.

4:45am I want to be with somebody again. I'm happy when a piece of me is engaged in some intimacy greater than what I feel now. But I don't want to just have something because I want it. I want it to develop naturally as it should. No "just add water."