First Day Back

I come back to work at a wireless phone company and leave my wireless phone at home.

Sebastian and I had dinner at Outback Steakhouse last night. For the first time I ordered fish there instead of steak. It was a conscious choice. I think to make up for 5 refills of regular coke that I drank. We had to have some reason to have Felipe return to our table again, and again and again. Wow... both Sebastian and I were taken by him.

I put down some goals for next month. Reviewing them right now it seems like I'm putting a lot on my plate, but I think that's normal for me just coming out of the gates. I feel re-charged. Items:

-Read a book a month
-Write a letter a week to someone
-Read magazines
-Scan all pictures
-Phase out caffeine
-"me time" 15-20min a day
-Walk for 45-60min on days that I don't bike
-Dance
-Journal daily

I finished up the bulk of cleaning my room yesterday. You can see the carpet again. I've made a small, cozy area to play The Cube. While cleaning, I came across the picture packaging for some underwear that I bought. Douglas has somewhat of a fetish so I clipped the pictures and mailed them to him. It's probably a mixed message knowing that I'm resolving still that I shouldn't be dating. It's this conflict in me that must be resolved. I look around and see that I am not the only one and I think it's just part of our nature to be like this.

I told Chuck today that it hurts my feelings when he takes some jokes too far. It was hard for me to fess up to that and it shouldn't have been. I've spent a lifetime of creating an illusion of certain strengths while never truly exercising all of my real ones. It ends now.