Day Treatment 9

I had a late last night. I was unsure if it was something I should have done at this point and time while focusing on myself. I 'm glad I went. Something--instinct--told me to go despite feeling tired and plodding through traffic. More on this later.

Kaiser is showing a video on HIV/AIDS with a production date ofo 1994. I shake my head at how old this is compared to what we know now. Yesterday I crystalized a thought while being berraged by the rest of the group about my lack of spirituality or belief in a "higher power." I believe in the higher power of the self. Someone remarked that no matter where you go, there you are. Simply, no matter what environmental factors you change, you have to deal with yourself & what's in your own head. Ultimately, it is the addict who makes the decision to goto a meeting, to continue to go, to pick themselves up and go back after relapse. ((Even if intervention is performed, or court order, the self has the ultimately decision to continue treatment or not to do so.)) I believe in the energy cycling inside of each of us that is recycled from matter through time. The energy particles are connected to things in other people--links of the past and present that are eternal. No matter how strong the bonds of people are, it's you that makes the final decision on the type of life to lead.

Can people influence you? Sure.