Cages

I said my peace. I'm hurting. I think he is too. I just want honesty. I want communication. I cannot hide away in silence and expect that happiness will rain down magically.

I returned Laney's phone calls from earlier in the week. He wants me to visit him. Apparently he & Shane are definitely done. I cannot entertain the thought of a visit until I know what is going on with Ryan. The gamut of emotions. On the one hand he says he wouldn't deal with this situation if he wer ein my shoes, but also says he wants to be with me. He feels trapped and I've created the situation to feel that way. Dammit.

Grandma Jean's passing on Monday takes another piece of me. I sensed it. It's a deep connection that fades. I understand why people die of broken hearts. They are so intertwined emotionally and spiritually with their mate that the loss cannot be filled. Today is Gradma Jean & Grandma June's birthday. Twins separated are whole again. Though I do not fear death, I do not deal with these losses lightly.

Chuck is a good guy.

I'm hot with emotions. Sniffles. Watery Eyes. If only Nyquil could cure the pain in my heart.