Water Power

Shower thoughts... Millions of people around the world are keeping themselves zip-lock sealed to their mates, making yellow & blue--green so that they don't' have to be just yellow, or just blue. They'll hang on to their relationship so that they dont' have to be alone, or for the kids, or for the money, but ultimately it's all about some form of security. I don't think it makes me strong because I didn't stay in a relationship for security, just smart enough to know that I'm not just yellow or just blue... I'm a rainbow of colors myself.

Today it's smoggy. Peering out the window toward the foothills, the after-rain green is barely visible. Environmentally, the smog is one of the ugliest things about Southern California. I suppose it makes up for the beaches and sun at other times of the year. When I was a kid I used to have visions of huge filtration devices sucking the air in from high atop the skyscrapers & mountains and purifying the air. I child doesn't think of the reailities of this picture...only the possibilities. Now, I think about this idea and ponder whether the machines would create their own pollution to be cleaned up; how would this work logistically? My mind is conditioned to a reality that makes it easier to live with other people. (And still, I find that I don't get it most of the time...haha)

So the hills become more obscure and the lush green is a pretty image--faded but not completely gone. Nathan called me this morning and we updated each other on the "state of affairs." I realized while talking to him that being with the boys last Sunday fulfilled something sensual, but it also briefly medicated the lack of affection over the past two months. (Much like my brief time with Joshua.) But self-medicating this way ultimately only lasts for the short-term. (I think) Haha... so let the self-medicating continue... haha.. I think I'm just typing nonsensical stuff now. Delirious I am not, but I am at work so anything is possible. ;-)

Josh and I went and had "pho" the other night. 24-hr pho in Westminster. lol. I wasn't really hungry, but I wanted to spend some time with him. We both got very tired after eating. I drove home to my new room and fell asleep trying to fix the interface with my mouse. Pesky lil mice.