Sole Sex Survivor

There is a certain type of pain that is felt when you know that you are not going to achieve an expectation that you have conceived in your head. It's a pain that has no outlet for blame other than your own feeble hopes and leaves you standing alone.... it's the feeling of love that I still have toward Randy Thomas... and it's the feeling of lust I have toward Edwyn Michael. It's a feeling that is unable to be stopped, but always controled and done so for the ultimate honing of sanity. I hope that someday I will pass these feelings like I do that of breathing and blinking. Autonomic.

Until then....I feel them inside and they radiate. The feeling is both euphoric and painful. One day it will balance to like Ph.