The air in Space

I was chatting with Dominic on the phone earlier and I sensed this frustration that I remember feeling. It is the frustration of getting to know people and trying to find someone to make a "connection" with. I expressed to him how I never thought I would still be single at 29, and here I am. There's that fantasy that I could just wave a magic wand and Dominic and I would be on his secluded island and all would be perfect; drinking from cups made of cut open coconuts and bathing in the tropical lagoons over the sand dunes. Ahh... Alas, he is in a daily routine behind a front desk and I'm working graveyard listening to people's sob stories. This is life, eh?

And it changes... Our choices change what it is that 'life' entails. The people change, the jobs, the challenges. I've wanted to cry all day long.

I spent a lot of the day with Ali, driving around to music stores. It's his job. Music. I was using all my weird voices--characters I create. For the first time in a very long time I remembered how it felt to perform. I used to enjoy that quite a bit. I allowed too much to be stripped from me as a teen. I adapted to a situation and have never really adapted back.

This nagging cough... lingers.