Healing Under Water

I don't know how I stay in shape other than to use heredity and genetics as an explanation. How long can it last?

I saw Cardwell for the first time in two weeks. We spent Saturday night in West Hollywood. Arriving in the afternoon, Hamburger Mary's was our luncheon before meeting up with Justin and Jeffrey. They're dog, Ripley, has grown so much since I was last at their place in January. Still hyper as puppies will be. He's a whippit(sp?). The ferrets snuggled with their pungent aroma in the computer room. Their condo is quite cute and I had never taken the time to notice that before. When we woke up this morning Justin and Jeffrey were cutting coupons from the Sunday paper to organize in their coupon folder. Domestication. I suppose if I actually shopped in a grocery store I'd know the wisdom of coupons.

Lanny called me this afternoon. He broke up with Brian. I still don't have all the details, but he wants to come out and visit in the next few weeks. What is it that keeps that emotional attachment between us? The easy answers: 1) we love each other and always will 2) our attraction for each other has never faded 3) we'll always wonder what might have been had things been different. As Cardwell and I discussed this weekend, there are certain people from your past that are always going to have a distinct impression that will not go away.

Spoke with Grandpa on the phone. He seemed lucid to his surroundings. Still waiting to hear what the next steps were going to be. I cried as soon as we exchanged I love you's and hung up the phone. A memory of how he smells filled my nostrils. Twenty-five years ago I was driving down the 5 FWY with he and Grandma from Seattle to Chino. The windshield wipers on the truck went out while we were in the mountains at one point so he rigged some string to them and would pull through the window when they got stuck. The truck pulled a trailer. When we were stopped at points I played Yahtzee and ate corn bread. When my tears wouldn't subside, I made for the shower and let it all drain away.

Most of Friday was spent at the American Heart Association. It's the place of my court ordered volunteer work. Being in the office environment keeps reinforcing to me how much I don't want to have a job that places me there again. Volunteering isn't bad at all. The tasks are simple, they're helping a good cause; even if the motivation for going isn't the cause but my own selfish fulfillment.

Quick Thoughts: Big hair in the Mexican restaurant next to 7-11. FUBAR...a boy with a blue shirt and the letters "CSD" on the back. Ali is moving on to venues other than The Boom and I'm happy for him. I had to miss Justin M's b-day party, but hope it went well. I'm sitting this week out of Thrust to have family portraits taken on Tuesday. Oh joy. Art is home in a couple days. I'm looking forward to seeing him and all his pictures. I'm back on my motorcycle kick(stand).