I went to dinner last night with Jeff Hackett. We ate at The Cheesecake Factory in Fashion Island. I flew out the door as Randy was on the phone with Art. (Or at least I'm pretty sure it was Art because the volume on the phone was so loud that I thought I heard his voice.) I got in about four hours of sleep before Randy's voice woke me up. The day before I had three hours of sleep. I was looking forward to a nice quiet time and it just so happened to fall on the day that he takes vacation time to stay home. It was like throwing water on an oil fire. I was such a child. I made him so mad I could see him shaking as he said, "I want to hit you right now."

Huh? What a strange jumble of a paragraph written a couple hours ago.

Chuck and I were talking online about why we date younger. Actually...I was telling him why he does and pretty much knew that the reasons held true for myself. He chimed in with, "Everything is new to them." True. But everything being new...gets old after a bit. One hopefully starts to want new experiences rather than just realizing old ones through new eyes.

So we take to traveling. Seeing new places makes for new experience? Well, sometime. One could travel within their own city to nooks unknown and probably learn just as much. I know about a huge homeless problem that no one seems to want to experience and so it goes ignored while we travel to do something new. Maybe I'll try a new danceclub. It's not really that new. At the end of any day I still think that striking a balance between selfish and selfless is the ultimate goal.

Whoa... just had a lil fantasy day dream. Haha... I had to stop myself. I remember this happening the last time I wasn't having sex. There's a period of time where it's all I think about. Then the next phase comes in and I don't think of it at all, but that's not for a couple more months. (Grand) Meanwhile---in a non so distant universe---there's a couple that wants to have sex with me but I've still never fully committed to this idea. I tried to do it years ago and cancelled at the last minute because the excitement of the fantasy was more for me. Maybe it was because they were older than me at the time. Haha. Well, Now I'm the older. Next stage...gee, when will I start dying my hair?

So dinner was nice. I felt like spending money after the display of wills at home. Jeff and I are not close, but there's something easy about conversing with him. I realized while we were talking how conversations are very reflective and draw more upon experience now than they are visionary, drawing upon imagination of what might be. There's a sense of "been there, done that." He asked if I was going to The White Party in April. I hadn't planned on it. I know the tickets would be well over $100. The lil bros are going....but then, that is what they should be doing now. I'm half staring out into the sculpture gardens still and wondering where that genius that knows all the right things to say will come and smile at me smiling at him.