When I take the glasses off...

Once you break the glow stick, there's no stopping it from glowing until it fades on it's own. So what is the half life on my emotions? What scientist can tell me that one?
What makes someone ugly or attractive is often not simply how they look. Attitude and personality actually do play a role in the deal. Insults about someone else tend to make me back away from someone. It's part of that overall negative energy that I want to steer away from. When I'm around it for prolonged periods of time I have to grow a thicker skin to tolerate it and that just ends up keeping a wrapped up Jeremy.
Art had AJ & Paul over tonight (Monday) to watch "Beautiful Thing." AJ is from England so he remarked how his accent was going to come back hearing the character in the movie. Paul didn't understand many of the words being spoken. The accents are quite thick in the movie. I only know the dialogue from the number of times I've seen the movie myself.
Sunday Night the house was packed for the showing of "Nine Dead Gay Guys." A house of 20+ teen & 20-somethings. I seem to keep my distance, never really having a conversation with them. I think many are nice, many are cute, many are both. As I typed that last sentence, Phil IM's me to say, "Don't think so much." Hahaha. It's always been this way for me. The solutions to avoiding it are not ones that I like. Well.. one, I like, but it's not something I can do with regularity any longer---or choose not to. The other choice leaves me not high or low and not really thinking too much about anything with any passion attached to it.
My bed is made with blankets from mom, grandma & Laney. It was his birthday today (Monday-23rd). I left a message on his voice mail. His voice didn't sound happy on the message. I can always tell. Mom can usually tell when things are wrong with me--when I'm around her enough for her to see. Grandma was great at just making me feel snug & safe and now these blankets do just that.
So I'm going on this date later tonight (Tuesday) and I keep running into dead ends with the ideas because of timing. Good...that there are so many ideas to be able to put for later use, but bad because I get my hopes up and then have to start over. I'm left with the thought that it's not what we do so much as what we learn about each other during the process. Hahaha... I never would've looked at a date like this in the past. I would've looked at someone and knew that I thought they were "cute" and just wanted to be around them. Knowledge, growth, maturity... ugh. Sometimes I see it as more of a burden than a blessing.
There's no going back...