I received the annual holiday poem/letter from Lorena, updating life, but with a bit more "christ" influencing this one. Nonetheless, it was a sweet sentiment to get something in the mail.
Our party was fun--for me at least. Even the times when I got to witness friction I seemed to feel myself perched on the outside, observing, seeing the senselessness of it all and hoping that everyone could just resolve their issue. It was a day/night of video games, a kickass song called "Rapture" by IIO, some splendid times with sensational people. I like that.
Bobby got me a picture of Brandon Boyd from Incubus. It is the ONLY thing hanging on the walls in the bedroom. Alex got sick and decorated our bathroom.
Mom called me earlier today. It happened to be during my alone time in the morning when I wanted to be alone so we all know how those conversations go. What she brought up was interesting though. Randy had called and left her a voice mail about going out to eat, the two of them. She felt awkward and didn't want to be in the middle of anything we were discussing. I felt the same way hearing her tell me. Ultimately I told her to call Randy and let her know her thoughts.
I don't find the prospect of dating again very enticing. I think focusing on school is key right now. I can't really consider what is happening with Randy until I know that he has changed. I can't know that now. I hope I can know it later, but that is way premature to think about now and I don't think he gets that yet.
Nathan offered a weekend getaway out to Las Vegas. I think I'm going to take him up on that soon.
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The daily jazz of my mind, as pure & honest as possible; but know that words are themselves filters of the original thought/idea.
