Thigh Pain

I tried running this morning. Half way through my heart hurt so much that I slowed to a staggering walk.

I was up before the alarm at 7:30. Maybe I never slept, who knows? Mom's b-day tomorrow.
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1:14 p.m.
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I was reading my entries from the last month and into October. It makes me more angry and my chest constricts; to have voiced my feelings with Randy knowing full well what they were all about. I sickens me that people have such ugliness in them. It sickens me because I can understand where it stems from and that I would like to forgive it. Catholicism at it's best. Zen. Everything Zen. Detached. To detach one's self from someone else removes the possibility of suffering. This is all well & good. Maybe I should read more on the internet because it just seems to lack a human component. How can I enjoy the party next week? But we all know how quickly events can change in a week, day, hour, or how I can live one life in a reality of my own while the truth is holding hands on a beach.