The Metered Money

12:06AM
Just walked back from the movie theaters. Saw "Guess Who." Cute lil date movie. My rating: Matinee. The walk home is a little under a mile. Such a clear, warm night. The stars came through as much as possible with the city lights still obscuring most of them. I want to know what destiny that I will make for myself. I love this writing. I love the way that words come together and attempt to convey some meaning. So what am I afraid of? What? It can't be rejection because all I get is praise for what people read. But am I judging those that would give their opinion? Am I really afraid of what the industry, the editor, the agent would say? And how can I really know unless I try?

Sky diving is going to be expensive. The idea is a rush in and of itself. Another rush is the motorcycle idea. Received an e-mail today from Tim in Palm Springs that brought that up again. I had been thinking about him lately. The man inspired me the last time I was around him. I might take a trip out that way.

I'm either going to shave my hair off tomorrow or got and get it cut. I'm definitely going to see "Sin City." I have plans to go to Irvine Lanes and partake in the bowling fundraiser for the Gay & Lesbian Center. Shortly after that ends I'll be wisked off in a van early Saturday morning so that I can take a trip to a children's orphanage in Mexico. I've never been to Mexico before. I know that my heart is going to be very drawn to what I find and that I will have to take the experience back with me and into my search for myself. It's the radiant beauty of childhood that often inspires me.

With all of these alcohol classes lately, I am both inundated with information that I already knew and open to the possibilities of what I am missing in my life. Maybe missing isn't the right word. Maybe it is. If not missing, then maybe the things that I still keep in that part of my mind that won't relive the past. I'll be glad in two weeks when the classes are over. The very next day I'll be on a plane to Seattle. I'll four days of reconnection in ways that I cannot even begin to anticipate.

What I simply want is the answers within to surface.