Paraphrasing in the Passing Lane

This new month starts and I have memories lingering of the past couple weeks. Some absolutely beautiful, some so funny that I sit back and smile thinking of them right now, some painful and moisture rims the roots of my eyelashes. What I know is that this is all life and it's all part of the building blocks that construct a home for my soul.

On the 27th of May I went to two different fast food establishments and at both places my bill total came to $6.66. If I were religious or superstitious I guess that I'd have to consider myself a marked soul. But since I'm neither, I guess I'm safe. :-)

I'm just back from a few days in Las Vegas with Cardwell & Nathan. Cardwell and I drove out Sunday morning after I got off work and then drove home last night in time for me to be sitting here back at work again. Visiting with Nathan was good friend time. Oddly, I spent most of the time shopping. I don't know what possessed me, but I was spending money right and left and enjoying it. CD's, DVD's, clothes, food, movies, clubs.

Nothing of any real deep nature was talked about. I didn't expect it to be. I went to Las Vegas with the intention of spending time with friends and laughing. Not that I was trying to avoid anything serious, I just was not going to trigger discussion on anything that didn't want to be talked about. There were several different antennae moments which made me smile. At times I felt that Cardwell and I with our natural banter that has developed from spending so much time together might have been overwhelming. Funny. We walk into his apartment, Cardwell is busy taking on the project of changing out his "drip drip" shower head so that there would actually be pressure coming out and I'm busy with the project of fixing the DVD to TV connection that was not playing full duplex sound for some reason. ((This project is an entire entry in and of itself)) We have our stuff lying all over the place, making his spotless apartment pretty cluttered. But our presence I hope was a soothing therapy in itself. I know it is for me being around Nathan as he occupies so much of my mind all of the time.

Twenty-Five days left of this graveyard hell. I've e-mailed and asked as of today to find out if I'll get to bid on a schedule soon as planning this Summer out is near impossible right now. I want to visit Lanny in Florida.

I scheduled a date of July 19th to have my laser eye surgery completed. I'm not really excited or anxious quite yet. I think this will all hit the day of the procedure.

**The Childrens**... haha

I spent last Saturday hanging out with Rey and met his new boyfriend, Greg, over at Mark's house in Fullerton. A very casual night BBQ-ing shrimp, beef & chicken on bamboo skewers. I've been invited to a birthday party there on Saturday. This is the same day as Tim's party in Huntington Beach. In each case I will have to deal with the reality of having fun and then cutting lose and having to come to work.


"Love Actually" is something of a focal point lately. I mean that as the movie. I mean that as the soundtrack to the movie. I mean that as the spirits in my life that I can not erase or stop sensing. I watched the movie for the first time a few weeks back with Eddy at Cardwell's place while Cardwell was on a cruise up to Vancouver. The movie opens with a monologue as pictures of people meeting are in an airport and the monologue ends with the words... "love actually is all around us." I see that and feel that most of the time.

Watching the movie again in Las Vegas with Nathan and Cardwell I was able to cry more around them. Trickles really; the release of emotion around them was less guarded than with Eddy.

Drunken Master IV made a very honest call to Eddy from Las Vegas while at GOODTIMES. Cardwell was standing right next to me and I remember him telling me not to call and trying to verbally stop me, but as he listened to what I was saying, he realized how I was speaking from my heart and that I had no choice in keeping my own sanity. Now that my words have been clearly expressed, I know that I will not regret anything unspoken. I have exposed myself completely and though I feel like I'm just standing in the middle of the road waiting to get hit, I also feel like the road is long and the traffic is light.

SPANISH KITCHEN on La Cienega, near Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood. Nice atmosphere and good food. Don't get the sangria unless you like it with clove.