I'll hold my tongue...

Nathan came into town this weekend. We had dinner and roamed the Spectrum. Later we picked up Cardwell and spent some white trash time at the bowling alley for "rockin' bowl." Randy's best friend was a woman named "Dawn" who had the annoying habit of being up to bowl at the same time he was and she would watch the ball even after it had been swallowed up to be returned. Nathan took on the name of "Shanasty" (a name given by Robert. Randy was known as "Mad Cow." It was good times for sure.

"White Flag" by Dido.

I'm a dork. I stored the phone number for Andy wrong by one digit and have been leaving messages for some stranger. ::sigh:: Wouldn't that just be the stellar sense of humor of the universe to put up a road block when I get that inside good sense about someone. It's that inner sense again. How cute is it that he has an Elmo doll? =) So we're going to spend time together after work today.

I'm about 20 pages away from being finished with my book. There are many instances when I read the words and feel genuinely lucky to live within the aegis of our American republic and culture. We are blind to so much of the rest of the world's horror, even when we watch it on the news. Then again, we are blind to so much of the horror within our own country when it suits us to be blind.

I'm close to buying a car. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this Friday. I'll have to start living within a budget again. These past four months have been nice not worrying about money for the most part.

My soul weighs heavy at 3am. I think of the KLF song "3AM Eternal" I've had my life on pause for so long. A song, like one that you can't quite get out of your head but don't know all the words to, is what I imagine pressing play would be like right now. Barbara from PFLAG called me to tell me about a LGBT coalition meeting this Thursday. I think about this boy who lost his grandmother when he was 18 and how he shriveled up inside while building up on the outside. I compare my actions as an adult with the ideals of my child and I think that I've taken what is easy as a way of granting that childhood prayer of "being normal." How does a boy in the 2nd grade already know he isn't like everyone else?

Strings... properly placed in a musical selection evokes such a feeling that the sound itself is a language.

I'm supposed to be at work in less than six hours. To sleep... or stay awake... yeah.

heavy