Forgotten Birthday - A Dream

I'm too tired to lift my head and am pretty much typing with my eyes closed so go typos go. This one is a bad dream. That so rarely happens. I'm somewhere,seemed clear in the dream and there are people that know and love me around. People from my life now. Real People. There is drinking, alcohol. There is the quickest blip of the back of a black vehicle as my headlights become dim from hitting the back of it.

Jump to different part of dream. I'm not even sure of how much above was linear. I'm waking in a bed with a party going on around me. Something about an old lady. I think my Brother Byron is somewhere. I can see the face of Mark W. with a drink in his hand and he's talking to someone. Male. When I wake I have a feeling of urgency. I do not have to go to the bathroom. (I don't have to go now that I'm awake) My green Integra. I feel that I have to be at my birthday party and this party is not it. The people are trashing the house. There are less and less people that I know here, but I know the house. It is mine, or where I'm living or it belongs to a relative of mine. I'm walking out the front door, it's night. THe noise from the party is so loud. I start to have a sense that this party is for me as I get closer to the car. (Something right now flashes an imiage of Scott Brady from growing up and SHuan Paris from my life now....something feels like they are related, by loks, nt sure what this has to do with the dream but it wasn't part of it) I pass through something that is in the air, like gnats. I fel them hit my face as I walk by and start to run to get through them. As I have cleared enough distance from the house I hear "Surprise." I fall to the ground as I'm running and look behind me from the ground. UUpn on the roof above, to my left while laying face first on the ground are people I know, mostly relatives. Blowing on those party horns with the paper than unrolls and wearing hats and shotting streamers. I see aunt Gail somehwere . I see my mom. I feel disorientated. There is laughter. I'[m in the green Integra and I have just driven off the curb and I hear the tires blow out. I have skidding into the middle of the street off the curb. It is a residential street with a cul-de-sac at the end. This is not the house I grew up in because it would be on the wrong side of the street from reality. People are coming to the car to help me out but not out of concern, just casually, still laughing and drinking, proud that they have surprised me. They know I am too "out of it" to understand what is going on. I try to get them to understand that next time (if there is a next time) I want to be able to remember my birthday. Apparently I had passed out on the actual birthday and this was the party still going on 2 days later when I got up. They had been waiting for me. I woke with a very deep sense of loss.

The heater keeps going on here. I'm very hot, dry throat. I must have been exerting a lot of energy in this dream. I feel so spent right now. So.. lost.