Maybe I'll Walk

This computer has been running more slowly lately so I've been spending the last hour going through unnecessary programs and files and clearing space on the hard drive. I'd like to reboot right now, but I'm waiting for files to get downloaded on AIMSTER, my new Napster replacement. I was having withdrawls.

Randy is off to have dinner with the parents. There was an open invite, but I'm in no mood to deal with his parents. I'm not really in a mood to deal with anyone right now. Stay clear. =)

I'm allowing myself to really dwell right now. Dangerous only because it stirs doubts into frenzy bugs, buzz buzz buzzing. Moral absolutes are easy, but lack the color and zest that I'd like to see in my life.

Money would help too...but after cutting off $13k a year I'm still afloat. The impending BK hearing on Thursday does play something into my mood right now. I believe the past arguement was something about taking responsibility and being accountable for one's actions. I'm sure there are much better things in the world to beat myself up about, but this is it, here & now, and I have to lay this to rest soon.

I mentioned before how I don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to. I thought about using the company's (VZW's) EAP program, but that's not really the kind of talking I want right now. I'm longing for that deep closeness of someone that I genuinely feel close to; not the remnant closeness of someone that I once shared much with but now we fumble around latching onto past moments.

Maybe I'll walk.