Four Earth Corners

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"Here With Me"
written by D. Armstrong, P. Statham & P. Gabriel

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me...
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At the heart of it all, I'm no different than millions of people searching the planet. We build lives, creating connections so that we aren't alone. It's rare that I encounter someone that truly wants nothing to do with others. (We may all have those moments, but they're fleeting.)

I miss Lanny terribly. I don't know if that says volumes about how much I have yet to grow or if it's as simple as dealing with the emotions associated with loss. I died a second time in that hotel room when he walked out the door. I weeped....probably scared D.R. on the phone. And all the while, there were my instincts tugging at the strings attached to my heart and mind yelling, "Don't do it." So perhaps I go back to the question of my own growth and theorize that maybe a life with "No Drama" is a life too boring to lead. There goes my guest spot as Bhudda's right hand man.

So I've sought out someone in San Diego.... what am I thinking? Or how about a 20 year old with security issues stacked higher than my own? And lastly, the one that's like me and wears a skin that shows all the rest that life is under control but can't even communitcate with me to follow through on connecting. They're all my choices. That's irony. (Or are we calling it destructive these days?)

A little voice inside---instinct---says to spend more time with friends.

j.r.me