An Jenem Tag

I used to get instant bloody noses from the heat of Summer. Heat period. It's that kind of hot in my room right now. I have a headache forming behind my eyes. I have a smile on my face.

Human weaving is such a craft. I seem very skilled at it with lives that are not emotionally charged with my own. Making time with Mario doesn't seem to be working. Flipside. Spending time with Eric has been effortless and warm. Perhaps the fact that we can truly share nothing of value beyond ourselves makes it so effortless. I can here Joe Ortiz in my head saying, "Just enjoy it for what it is." I try, but knowing myself means knowing that if physical enjoyment is not going to progress to something emotional, then it's little more than working at a job for the paycheck. I try not to overthink. I take the kisses. I inhale the silence. I dream of conversations that end in kisses.

This new job of mine seems to be going well. After two weeks, I'm still not adjusting to the 6am wake-up schedule. I've been taking naps as soon as I get home each afternoon. I purposely forced myself awake today. I think that has added to this headache that grows with each keystroke.

Nathan will be in San Diego with his family all the rest of the week through Sunday. There has been talk of going to Ensenada on Saturday. My first trip to Mexico for pleasure? I'd just be happy laughing it up anywhere with Nathan and Randy. Sitting by a pool with a drink. Talking about the nothing that keeps us happy. Hearing the lil sounds that are ours and ours alone. Definitions of our persons.

I talked to Byron briefly about our trip to Mom's for Thanksgiving. There is as much communication between us as the toll booth personnel.

I can't wait to rest my eyes and start dreaming.