Walt Disney Triangles

I'm just sitting here in bed watching TV and I'm thinking that I should be doing something..... going somewhere.... It's a sense of restlessness. I've decided that I'm not going to talk online tonight; not going to distract myself from myself. So here goes the writing. I start thinking about other times that I allow myself inside of my own head like this and it's when I'm running or walking long distances. :::a little laughter::: Why? Because the honesty and raw "jeremy" that's printed in this blog over the past several years is more intimate than I've ever been with anyone face to face and probably the only time that I am with myself.

There's this common topic that several people have raised with me, "What is it that you want to do?" I get asked the question and the head goes blank. I don't really want to go to school. I don't really want to work for a large corporation with bullshit bullshit bullshit. All the while I think, "It doesn't matter what I do because I'll get bored with it anyway." This is the way it's always been and the way I figure it will continue to be. So what then?? Temp work? Hmm... Perhaps that leftover elitist part of me still frowns upon the idea. I suppose it makes sense in many ways. I work when I want to work.... haha. The idea does nothing to fill me with a sense of stability and safety. The what if's are running track 'round my skull. So much adventure that I've forgone because I've lived a life of default. The life that our society and culture would have all its citizens live.

Byron's birthday tomorrow. 28. Dinner in Claremont. Hung out with Shannon last night. Strange how we've known about each other for probably close to 12 years and last night was the first "real" conversation we had. Don't know what's up with Tyler, the adult in me doesn't really care, the passioinate side of me does still a bit. Alex is on his trip in NYC. This last Tuesday at Thrust was fun. Gee... go figure. It's a nice release for me and I'm around friends.

The years.