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I'm online right now talking with Alex. I was starting to discuss with him something that is really a private conversation to be had with Randy so I stopped. Mom just sent some cute pics of Sarah posing. It was a good interruption to my conversation.

The rain has been pelting for the last half hour. I like the sound. Maybe I'm just feeling really emotional today. I few times my eyes have welled up with tears. I began reading CONTACT by Carl Sagan. Two chapters in...so far, so good. I wonder if seeing the movie will have ruined any surprises. LOL

So something everyday that scares you, huh? I have that in my profile on AOL. How often do I follow that? Not enough. I think the things that scare me are the social constraints. I think that when I choose to do something out of the norm is when I draw attention to myself in what may commonly be thought to be a bad light. I think I'm pull out the asshole from the closet when I'm in those thoughts. I'm biting my lip right now and chewing off the dead skin. It's kind of like a metaphor.

I'm looking forward to the party that Bobby & Joey are having later tonight. It's been a while since they've had one at the house. I know I'll be crashing there already. Alex has mentioned that Danny wants to taste one of my full-o-alochol but cannot taste that shit drinks. How cute. The whole group of them are good to my soul. There's a strong sense of family when I'm hanging out with them. I think those wells have finally arrived.

I drink some water from my happy face cup because I think maybe that face on the cup could be mine. But it's not. It's just a cup. And the rain drowns out the sound of the keyboard.