A Child's Voice

It's been a LONG weekend at work for me. I didn't intend it to be, but the culmination of a new position, an intense but ending relationship and being the off week for payday I ended up staying on property until this morning. I just woke up an hour ago to my phone...three hours after I was supposed to be awake.

I sat down to work, but the overwhelming honesty of a child's voice entered my brain and I'm about to cry even now as I type. (And there it goes)

As I told my friend and ex co-worker over the weekend, "I wish I didn't know better. I wish I didn't have experiences that taught me what I'm doing is right. I don't want to be another person who in his eyes just leaves him." This is not a relationship that I want to flush or forget, but at this point in time, it's raw & tender and exposed. It's like ripping duct tape off a 3rd degree burn victim's skin each time we come together and then have to leave. This skin needs time to heal up before the next meeting. I cannot be both a friend and a healer for myself and the one I love. I feel selfish in saying that. I have learned that it is not always comfortable saying the things that are true.

I can't get that voice out of my head.
I just want to be asleep again.