Fog From My Teacup

The word is out...I'm a good guy. I guess that depends on what circles your ear is bent toward. It's very foggy outside the window.

I'm on a ten minute type-writing stream of thought. I have put on my headset and started the song "Storm in a Teacup [@135 Degrees]" by Moodswings from their Horizontal Disc 2. Volume up. Go.

How do you hang out with someone who has a boyfriend to get to know them when you already know you're attracted to them? I suppose the same way you hang out with a friend who you are attracted to but know that it is not returned. Only...it is returned. Intellect plays a part here. I make a moral choice because I know how I would like to be treated in this scenario if I were the boyfriend. But beyond a choice not to push anything physical, there is the choice of whether or not to spend any time with the person. On the one hand I say that it is the intent that is of most importance and if the intent is truly to get to know someone then this dynamic makes that only purpose for hanging out. If the intent is to somehow woo them away from someone else then the purpose for hanging out is shaded, but perhaps not shady.

Four minutes in and the beat drops down so that several other sounds come to the forefront. It is what this wroting is doing for me. These thoughts I type allow others to start to move around and jostle free. Beat picks up. Beat plays on.

I think that the connections we make as gay males are so simple and tangled. Some would believe that we are

The simple twist of something that makes me go faster and fall forward. It's the danger that must be of paramount importance because only by passing through it do you know something about yourself. Standing still or watching from the cliffside you are aware of a bigger picture... but you are not living in it.




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Now playing on Winamp: Moodswings - Storm in a Teacup [@135 Degrees]
via FoxyTunes