No Ark Tonight

Here it is sixteen days into May and the 17th isn't too far away..... but then again, it's already here, isn't it? It's already tomorrow in parts of the world. Time is not what our 3-D minds conceive of it. As linear as we live our lives, this is truly not what it is. While there are a handful of people in the world that comprehend and discuss about such "timely living," there are more that have no idea what I'm talking about. So it could be eighty-five days into May for all this thought thread really matters. The point of mentioning the days in the first place was that this is the first entry of the month and a rather long time coming.

The short clips: I've been dating someone for six weeks today. Randy and I have been spending more time together. I saw Kellan in person. I still have not managed to hang out with Gina, Marlowe or Lena. Eddy has turned a quarter. I miss my sister. My room is a reflection of my insides while my work desk is a reflection of my projection. I shot blood! I've felt the need to start jogging again. No more Serzone, still have the Wellbutrin...but it's the Elavil that's kicking in right now as I'm getting too tired to type anymore.

I feel like I'm adjusting to the new chemical make-up again. I did it for some instinctual reason again and I'm not fully aware of why. I've been sticking with the co-administration of therapy with the little pills. I feel like each session steers back in a direction of asking the same question and still not finding a suitable answer. I can't say I do much work searching in between sessions. (Not consciously) I do know that I involve myself in many things in order not to get any closer to an answer about myself. I extend every emotion I can into the lives around me and let the energy of all types river raft through.

I've managed even to keep myself so busy that writing--a beloved outlet and art--seems almost a chore.