scatter matter

I was laying in bed staring out into the bedroom air thinking some thoughts. Why not write them down?

I was talking online to Chuck last night and I awoke this morning with a sense of sadness at his lack of love for himself. He's still a little boy, afraid of change, paralyzed from change almost.

Three guys have won the Nobel Prize for creating a 4th state of matter: The Bose-Einstein Condensate. (Who knows if I spelled that right?) Apparently they froze particles with a laser to near absolute zero where atoms are barely moving. And this helps us how? Maybe I'm just short-sighted.

PFLAG came and spoke in our class last night. It was an "okay" panel. I see the speakers---like myslef---getting older and older while the classes stay the same age year over year. Although the issue of being gay is more in our today sense of being, there is still an important element of connection and being able to relate that is a key component for interactive panels. I speak tonight in Calista's class @ Fullerton College.

I have the sheet music from the movie "The Piano" and I have never sat down to try and learn it. Perhaps I'll walk across the street and find a practice room at the college. Better still, maybe I'll leave early to go to Fullerton College this evening, beat the traffic, and spend the extra time in the music practice room there.

Jonathan, from DanceSafe, sent me a nice e-mail this morning/last night. He said that DanceSafe "needs" me. Whether that's true or not, hearing it feeds this part of my ego that likes being fed. I always have thoughts in the back of my head about wanting to get more involved, I'm just not sure that I want to invest the kind of time necessary to do a good job---the same argument I've kept making for myself. I think mostly I know that there will be frustration involved and coming off the heels of what has been going on here the past few months I am not handling frustration very well.

An article for The Blade....planning my b-day party...taking a look around for some liquid or paper. Other thoughts that mingle with the idea of jacking off and reading for class. The mind truly is a terrible thing to waste. =)