control

Control. More than Janet Jackson. More than freaks. More than valves. Control...an illusion exercised for comfort. We drive our cars. Some of us go the speed limit and we believe we're safer because we can react to the world around us with greater pad time. But we have no control over any of the other vehicles on the road. We have no control over our passengers who may choose to act violently or have a medical condition that will distract us.

Control. Over ourselves, our future, our lives. Undoubtedly we exercise control and make our way. Some search for a "comfortable living" where money allows for an ease of living. The ability to pick up and travel far away at a moment's notice or purchase material goods or perhaps just hoard the money away until a rainy day. Others search for a harmony among the world they're in. Materials mean nothing, but people people are everything. It's the soul that holds the ultimate value, and who controls that?

School registration papers arrived in the mail earlier this week. December 8th is my day of decision. I have a thought to take 4 classes. Hell...I can always drop if I can't handle them all. Why do I still have that twinge of failure if I proceed that way? I can see now what the "adults" were referencing when I was younger about telling gifted kids things about themselves. I remember one sub teacher who--in so many words--tried to tell us that there was more to life than what we studied.

I'm lucky to know what I know. I'm humbled to know I know very little. I'm hoping that despite anyone's perceived shortcomings that they are able to walk side by side in this coming era.

j.r.me