cramming

Is there one of those yellow & black covered paperback books in Borders or Barnes & Noble that is titled, "Dating for Dummies." ?? If not, perhaps I should start compiling the events of each experience I've had and write one. Although I'm not sure how interesting the reading would be to anyone.

Who's keeping score? Someone actually read my journal and made mention that they had better be nice or they would end up being "dissed" here. I think that's part of the reason I've chosen not to use names....that just fuels drama and these entries are meant to be somewhat of a release for me. Letting off the steam rather than boiling it inside. So....by default one has condemned himself...no more words need be said. The closet has moved to accept a job out of town. Having played my long distance role for plenty of time I know I won't be stepping back into that part. It's a shame because he seemed genuinely well-adjusted. **sigh** I suppose weekend trips will still be nice to get to know the real person that was "vibed" over a weekend. Of course the strongest attraction would be to the one with no car and just on the outskirts of almost totally geographically undesirable. My reality button is flashing; knowing that what I don't know is everything that is important. Common interests--outside of sex, common goals, blah blah blah blah blah.... that stuff that really does matter.

Sitting alone in the work cubicle... reflecting on the week.

A night full last Thursday going to walk around WeHo with Nathan. He's tired...I can tell that dancing won't be in his cards. I'm not sure I want to go to RAGE anyway. In driving by The Hollywood Spa, we notice people all walking to some common venue. I drive by to find "The Opium Den." It looks interesting enough to try out and I do. I would say it's Hollywood's equivalent to a hang out joint like Laguna's Boom Boom Room. 2am rolls around and I'm not tired but the bar has decidedly closed.

Nathan in the car....I decide that it's time for me to stop being such a prude with myself and experience what this Hollywood Spa is all about. Haha... when the slogan of "Doing Everything @ 25" was enacted for me, I don't think I quite envisioned ALL of the things I would try at this age. I'm learning to be less afraid, especially of what others will think. That is probably the hardest fear to overcome because it is acceptance that we are taught at such an early age that is one of the most important things to have. Without too many details....the four hours at the Spa were fun. I would go again, thought not sure under the same circumstances.

Spank me. Hmm.... no... no more.

http://www.trancecontrol.com check it out

My Friday/Saturday was splendid, albeit hot hot hot with no air conditioner at the house. I bought a toothbrush, but now that it's sitting in my room, I think I may have left him with the wrong impression. Hmm... maybe I shouldn't think so much.

Saturday Night Nathan and I went to San Diego to enjoy the 4th Anniversary of Montage. A very good time. I ran into Randy (my ex) and we talked a bit. The music being spun was right on all night and kept us dancing until 4am. The drive home---err...uh... umm,, back to Costa Mesa at Randy & Frederic's was short. The drive never really bothers me anyway.

Sunday was beach (West Beach) with mother. While there Gary called to see if I wanted to attend an HRC event in Laguna with him... sure... why not. Maybe I'll meet someone, right?

blah blah blah..... I'm tired of writing.. where's that machine that attaches to your head and reads brain waves and then translates them into my thoughts....

I think it's called acid.

I think I need to leave to goto a DanceSafe board meeting.