Stealing Time

Who have you stolen from today?
What does the prize fulfill?
Do you know the breaths of your actions?

I cannot give back what I have taken from you.

Lost Worlds of Heaven

This iCandy takes time,
It begins a career.
This sweetness conditions a palate.
TASTE THIS
TAKE TIME
TASTE TIME.
I observe the happiness surrounding me and feel it through the others.

TAKE THIS

What is it that stops me from liking myself?
Is it a memory?
Is it a sense of danger?
Is it a fear that the person I discover will have happiness?
Why do I feel that I don't deserve it?
Could the doctor's words be true?
Why don't I love myself?

I don't have the answer. I only have the open questions. Opening and closing me.

CSSSA

I just had a flash while doing paperwork of being in the Loyola Marymount cafeteria and walking outside.

That was a memory from Summer 1988.

Elevator Efficiency

I witnessed an exchange during my morning break. After walking around the building, I came back inside and entered the elevator with two other people. Pink, sparkly, "be-dazzled" girl in her jeans was first, then a messenger, then me. She was very talky and noticed that the package was for her so she signed for it right there in the elevator. She got off on the third floor and the elevator across from ours was going down so she turned around and said, "I would get off and go on that one to get back down." He promptly followed her instructions, darting across the small elevator common meeting space and my elevator door closed.

Doors opening. Doors closing. I'm watching them all the time while carrying on my way.

My Work Friend

This stares at me all day at work.

I Know Who John Tesh Is!

I Know Who John Tesh Is!

Two Things

A new thing....Two Things Today.

Two Things
To Do
Today.

;-)

V for Vulnerability

I allow myself to feel so vulnerable in the moments of intimacy when I'm laying next to someone and holding them. I listen to their heart. I can feel my breath rebound of their skin back at me. I run my nose along the side of the neck and relish the subtle changes in body position until I'm looking in their eyes.

But what I see is usually someone staring to find out what it is that I'm thinking. The truth is that I'm thinking that this moment is pure and permanent. Then my eyes get big as I let that thought settle. I pull away and smile or laugh. A kiss ensues.

I've been here three years and the healing has happened. I feel this sense to move on. But to where? And to what?

And to who if not myself?

Boom Pop Blast

The fireworks are exploding at Disneyland.

Or is it just in my head?

Text Permanent

A series of Text Messages on my phone that I don't want to lose as I transition carriers over the next month:

cardnoff: you have this hold on me I can feel it tug sometimes,And sometimes I wish I could be there for you.

Nov.12.2004--11:31am (From Lanny)

Im on the patio for the last time

Nov.19.2004--5:19pm (From Randy)

I would rather spend time with eddie

Dec.20.2004--10:03pm (From Randy)

Its a weight goal- you ass

Dec.23.2004--3:44pm (From Randy)

Man ears - lol

Feb.4.2005--12:46pm (From Randy)

I can't take it - madonna lewis dog died while he was getting the dogs teath whitened. kinda like the pig story

Mar.11.2005--9:32am (From Randy)

Thanks! I really enjoy having you as a friend.

Mar.18.2005--11:18pm (From Kellan)

Always remember kids, dirty cock = strep throat

Apr.5.2005--7:50am (From Randy)

There is a midget with a straw hat on, in my front yard. i had to back in side

Apr.25.2005--8:18am (From Randy)

jeffrey and i are going on jerry springer on a show called, Can we be gay men who want a sex change to become lesbian lovers

Jul.14.2005--2:17pm (From Randy)