C Chasing C - Removing The Layers From A Front Desk Job

In a world where lifetimes are lived during a street lamp's light, the inhabitants have a tendancy to call strangers: friend.

I asked him once if he had ever been in love. When I asked, it was somewhat mockingly and quite assumingly arrogant. He was a hooker and hardened by the haze.   He was always high when I saw him. Why would I even believe he could feel?  Let alone reach an emotion that was even close to something I had cherrished with another. The way he replied quickly changed my tone immediately.  He was not defensive.  He did not retort with a sarcasm that I may have had.  He plainly, earnestly looked me in the eye and said, "Yes."

In that glance I saw a story and a sadness.  I also saw a person for the first time.  Someone who would come to call me "friend" as the street lamps would illuminate many more of our nights, including the Eve of a New Year.  He would bestow a tenderness upon my lips that I desperately needed to feel.  It was an awakening moment where the pure love in my soul was able to override the chaotic neurochemistry and re-boot the real person I had been hiding.

Aug.2010

Batons & Relays

I'm surrounded by kindness at the moment.  There are story lines in each of the lives in this household that are overlapping right now.  This space is an intersection of energies that are in harmony.  The chills overwhelm my body as I typed that last line.  It's such a good feeling.

Last night I had a three hour conversation on the phone with Sarah.  While we have always been able to communicate as adults with fluidity, it's rare that our conversations would last this long.  Garage to garage; California to Minnesota.  The eldest and youngest of our family and both still wading through the emotional muck that accumulates when dysfunction stunts, or in some cases, completely obliterates communication between the people that you sleep under the same roof with from birth to leaving the nest.  There is so much pain in both of us.  I see her searching out ways to understand and excise that pain into the world and be filled with the good things that are missing.  I remember my initial forays into understanding my family programming and trying to learn how to change that.  (Some of my pondering thoughts are even in these posts.)

I'm finding lately that the reasons are surfacing for where I am in life right now.  I knew that these thoughts would come to me when the time was right.  Although not completely clear yet, I feel less unsure of the future.  I jokingly made a goal for 2013 already, but it is something that I desire to have again. 

Sunday brunches with friends.  :-)