Death Moves People To Action

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12, 2011

I didn't design the pants I wear. So I can't help it if the material rests a certain way that makes it look like my crotch contains something that is several times the size of reality. People are stuck on what they can see, so short of stripping down, we all laugh and the conversation moves on.

Casey, the dog, passed away a few days ago. I was jumping up & down in my skin yelling, "Here I am! I'm right here dying too!" But no sound came out. No phone calls were made. No text. No email. I just replied by sending the pictures I was asked to send. Short of stripping down to draw attention, people believe what they see.

When human life takes a back seat to that of an animal...it has always been a peeve of mine; no matter how adorable the pet. And I loved spending time with Casey too, but he and I said our goodbyes on Xmas morning when it was abundantly evident he was not meant for this world any longer. I spent much of that day at Tim & Ian's by Casey's side.

I'm coming up on two weeks of complete solitude, save the face of my roommate who is half dead when he gets home from his ragged work schedule.

I could not remember if I showered today so I took another one just in case. Then I left the house without putting deodorant on. I had planned on walking for miles and miles, but looped back to the domicile.

Beset by sarcasms I cannot process because my skin is really not that thick.

In younger years, insecurity was a shield that gave the appearance of a thick skin. In these more "real years," it's as thin as it is soft and I haven't the patience to have anything but non-abrasive, sincerely civil communication.

Everyone is so busy, but time is made for those things that are important.

One always hopes this mindset will change in a few days....do do do do do

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