Well...

"What can you see on the horizon...."
-"Into The West" by Annie Lennox

I've now dealt with my second experience in almost losing a friend to a still heart. Only this time I had to look into the eyes of death as it stared back at me. How silly to write about death in this familiar way; giving it eyes to witness my fear. The way I feel right now makes me angry at myself for allowing so much emotion to overwhelm me. I can hear the thoughts of everyone else telling me that it's okay to feel as I do. Their eyes say, "How else are you supposed to feel? What else were you supposed to do? You did what you could." (And I think these things too) While death is something that I do not fear for myself, it is something that I have a harder time in accepting for others and I know that this is because of my own selfishness for having them in my life.

Drugs...why do we do them? It's fun. It feels good for a short while. It dulls the pains and worries. It's an escape. It's a journey into a different part of ourselves. It opens our minds to things we wouldn't normally think about. It's a risk like any other risk that one chooses in life. It is a dance with death. It's dangerous, like driving too fast on a freeway. You do it so much and get away with it that the day you actually crash is a surprise. In the end... I'll say what I hear so often from the oldest generation down to the youngest with any ability to coherently speak on the matter: When it's your time to go, it's your time and nothing is going to stop that from happening.

"Feathers And Down"
-The Cardigans

We enable the ones we love to be who they are because we love them. That usually entails letting the bad things in with the good.