because

I've got cousins that I never see. I have cousins that I've never met. I sometimes think this is odd, but really, there are pieces of DNA all over this world that I am somehow distantly related to and yet I don't know these people either.

My hair is growing back...kinda more on top than on the sides so I can't spike it yet. I'm looking forward to using gel again. Nice, slimey hands.

Randy & I skipped out on taking the Alegebra assessment test last Friday. Instead, we got all ready for the beach, put sun block on and then drove to the movie theater. Lucky for us the film light wasn't too bright so we left the Irvine Spectrum unscaved. (It ended up being really overcast at the beach)

Tomb Raider is coming up...looks good for a group outing; The Big Neport.

creations

PMS......I feel like we're swimming in it at home. I'm okay with that for a while because I understand that any transition can be difficult, but at some point we all must take responsibility for ourselves. Address, communicate, share and be at peace.

I found out that my position in Technical Support with VZW will be moved to Customer Care. Great. Maybe...maybe not, dunno. I'm open to the change and excited about learning more about the business as a whole. Change..change..change.

Tonight we (Randy & I) have thought of an impromptu "Game Night." Sounds like a lot of fun to me, but I wonder who all will show up. It was kinda late notice.

cookie creations...

calibrate

But what if my clock says 6:22pm? =)

Time lost; time forgotten. Time to cut my finger nails. Time to run. Time to walk. Time to wake up and do it all again tomorrow. I wash my hands in the public restroom and see the poorly lighted reflection as I go to wash my hands. It's hard to instill why all this is important to someone else when it's difficult to find that answer myself.

To do better.

To do more.

To try.

I don't know that the reason why is really that important. Just the trying. But sometimes just trying falls on deaf ears & minds... So I guess I really don't know anything.

Drugs drugs drugs..... the legal kind. Stay tuned.

j.r.me

May Project Poet-Callab

So I decided to finally look around on this Diaryland site and see what else is here. The "Member of the Month" section looked somewhat enticing.....so here goes:

MAY PROJECT FOR POET-COLLAB
http://poet-collab.diaryland.com/


WANTING...

I need him--
But I say I don’t need anyone in this world.
(I open up to no one in this world)
But no one can take me so deeply to hurt
Like this boy who’s body finds me
And tackles my mind down hard,
Pushing so deeply into me
That I wish I knew how to fight
And I wish I could stand up and be the man
I’m supposed to be to him
So that I can hang out at his house;
So I can drive around with him;
So I can smoke one of his cigarettes;
So I can wash his dirty clothes
And make his bed each morning.
But I’m only his recreation
For the times when he can’t act anymore
And the truth that presses against me,
In the cold nights of his truck,
Is the truth that never leaves me.
Not the smell;
Not the taste;
Not the memories;
Not the wanting…

-J.R.Me

rushing

I overheard this conversation at work today. A guy who sits behind me has a 3yr old son and another guy down the row has his 1st on the way. The one waiting for the new child started remarking about how much he's looking forward to taking his "son" to ballgames, hockey games, and getting him different jerseys to wear. I sure hope his son likes those things.

Yesterday as I climbed the stairs to get to the third floor of the Verizon Wireless hive, I started taking the steps two at a time. As I did this I thought of Jared. He would calculate the shortest amount of steps he had to take to climb up stairs. My first thought was that I wish he would have looked at all his life choices as carefully to plan out the best way to climb life, but then I realized that I could also see the path of taking the shortest steps to reach a destination as being how he lives his life. (Or lived.....I'm completely in left field knowing anything about him in this day & age.)

Nathan & I had our first heart-to-heart in a long time. I still see so much change in him, not good. Therapy.....it does a body good. I'm drained by the essence of what I feel emanating from him and hopeful that our exchange can filter through some changes.

Washington Mutual!!! Wee! (I finally changed banks and opened a new checking account)

What goodies lie in store? Is that "lay" in store? hmm.... great major. I think some dinner and a nap.

j.r.me

carlin on tv

...it's like just trying to find a moment where I can be content. The moments are fleeting. I can recall specific instances; earlier tonight I was cuddling with Randy and I was content, but I was done within a minute or two and looking for my next moment. The time that I sit and do nothing and am actually content is rare....but altogether important as well.

I can be happy and sad within seconds of each other. I'm tapped into too much.

Ignore.

j.r.me

Discipline

Nathan is going to Sabrina's....Rob is taking his pants off...well, er, not Nathan's pants off, but his own. It's late. Don't these people have to work in the morning? (I don't)

I'm not pleased with the gaps of writing here. I must improve this. I will. I've set diaryland.com as my default home page for the internet browser.

I have nothing more to say. I'm staring at the screen.

bye for now.

j.r.me