Today Is....

Today is....

Charles' birthday.
Sunday.
A damp day.
Something I cannot fully see.
Sad for the knowledge of losing a new friend to distance.
Happy for celebrating the season with colleagues from work.
Confusing.
Confusing because of the people that I have close to me.
Confusing because of the expectations that somehow I have made.
Going to be cold.
A day to continue cleaning.
Just like many other days.
My turn to write.
Another day of growing and feeling the pain of that endeavor.

I feel the universal energy zap me.
Almost tomorrow.

I wake up to taste my lips...

The one person who would have really wanted to come out, couldn't. The ones who had plenty of prep time, didn't. There's a saying to come out of these facts. I think it's a saying that wouldn't mean much to most.

Molly came out, which was awesome. She needed it. I like that our paths have crossed in life. It's been a burst of renewed energy in me being around her. I think this is the experience that I seldom realize others are having around me sometimes because I'm just being myself.

"How do I get myself back to that place where I fell asleep inside of you."
Third Eye Blinds "Semi-Charmed Life"

Song To The Bullhorn

I'm not sure if this is true, and I'm sure there will be no formal studies done in the near future, but I have a suspicion that it's more natural for Bottoms to sleep on the stomachs than for Tops. You just don't get wisdom like this overnight. No no no... it takes years of crowding your head with other useless trivia.

A clean room is a clean slate of sorts. How will one re-dirty it?

Arturo and Charles. I see the physical attraction that both of them would have toward each other, but I'm not so sure of the personality mixture. Time will tell. They're both good people so I know they'd be friends either way. Coolness...another linkage of stray energies.

It's so bedtime. That's the old in me creeping out.
Taking Friday off so that I can stay out late tomorrow....now that's the young that will never be subdued.

Love you. Lights out.

December Tenth

Touching and tasting
Toiling.
Taming.
Too much Time
taking Twenty-Something tales.

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What do I think about the way that relationships are changing? I'm befuddled.

Saw Nathan again this weekend. That's three weeks in a row. It's almost like old times that way. The holiday party for SCC was a strange ending with the girls from work ending up in my living room. Fun, but I don't see it happening again anytime soon. I saw Steven and Tyler on Tuesday at Thrust. Funny..haha... Steven Tyler. Aerobics, but no Aerosmith. Upon the departure of worklings, I picked Jorge up to spend the rest of the weekend here with Nathan & Rey joined last night.

Napping all afternoon has me wide awake now.

Can't Stop MySelf

32 passed yesterday and I spoke to Mom, Grandpa & Philip on the phone. What do I know? I just keep seeing people looking for some kind of connection to things. Me along with them, though I'm not sure I'm looking so much as I'm just aware of the desire.

My honesty keeps me clean
when I can't get to the showers.

It happened one Saturday in December

"If you knew that you would die today
You saw the face of God & love, would you change?
Would you change?"

-Tracy Chapman's "Change"


Meatloaf, Chicken Fettuccine, Sausages in BBQ sauce, Crab Won Tons, prepared Asparagus and Radish dishes , Gelson's macaroni salad, Wai Ki Ki Meatballs, Broccoli cheese casserole, Sunshine cake with Vanilla Bean ice cream, Buckeyes, chips & dip, a fruit platter, the assortment of beverages, salad w/vegetarian acceptable dressing, BBQ Chicken and the full range of finely aged and raw friendship. The celebratory dinner for my birthday last night was filling in many ways. One of those ways had me up and running by 7:30am this morning, heh.

I love the laughter for whatever the funny words were at the moment. I'm looking forward to seeing the photos taken. I'm preparing myself mentally to go downstairs and greet the sleepover guests and start the kitchen cleaning.

The smiles will always be touching, but I think my favorite thing from last night was having so many of the varied personalities around me...... and receiving all of their hugs.

Subaru on Logo

"What makes a person weak is fear.
And what makes a person strong
is a sense of self and self belonging"
-Mary Seton Corboy
greesgrow.com

Cough Up Music

I haven’t felt like writing these last couple of days. I find myself trying to talk myself into it, but not really doing anything. I’m working an exorbitant amount for me. The alone time that I have hasn’t felt like creative time. It also hasn’t felt like time where I want to treat the time like a third job where I turn my writing into a structure, set a goal and rework theme, plot, dialogue.

After watching “Stranger Than Fiction” last week, I see myself in the Emma Thompson character in the sense of how she plays out scenarios in her head about what she was thinking about writing. Hah… ten years of writer’s block. I can relate. I have a repeat feeling that what I’m trying to write has already been written by me; fragments here and there through time that I must find and piece together.

More
More To This
There’s More
-Hannah Jones Song
A tune that I rather enjoyed dancing to when it first came out. THERE. It’s happening right now where I blink and start seeing this picture of a moment and it tells a story. My spine starts to tingle and then my arms show the visible signs of euphoria. Hairs standing at attention for the passing General of a moment.

Feeling So Small
I Stare at the Wall
Hoping That You, Think of me too.
-Roxette Song
Easy eye drainer if I want it to be. This song was playing at work last night and I mentioned to Molly that I “loved” this song when it first came out.

I woke up early out of a dream where time was a factor in someone’s situation. I’m counting the days and mending my ways, but I still find fault in things to exult.

Healing Powers of Dance

Small circles. I've been continuing on the Quirky Sidewalks story. The futility of the experience seems to be an emerging theme in the story itself.

My throat has been scratchy the past few days. I woke up feeling feverish Friday morning. Tylenol. Go. Since then I've been trying to take it easy and stay in the house as much as possible. Water. I'm starting to feel a bit too cooped up. Justin and I are going to experience DEEP later tonight. I'm not sure how my body will react to that, but perhaps I'll burn out whatever virus is scratching at my throat.

My soul and psyche also needed some rest this weekend. I got to spend time with people at the house on Friday that I don't get to see that often....or not as often as I would like or as I did in the past. The next time will probably be on my birthday.

Past Pianos

My piano teacher's name was Jackie. (Pagano might have been her last name) She instructed me from the age of seven to eleven. She has long since past on but I have the knowledge she imparted to me. Like much knowledge, I've retained the core and never worked to understand the sphere.

Many spheres of knowledge are colliding every second without incident. The closer the cores get, the more noticeable the collision.