beg your pardon?

I came home tired...did my taxes to find out I owe a grand. LOL. I think I'm delirious. So I go to sleep hoping to awake in a different situation.

I wake up bothered; not entirely thinking that the sleep made me feel any better. I start to notice little things that aren't done around the new apartment but that shouldn't really be "waiting" to be done. I go to the store.

Ralphs in Irvine. Hah. I almost cried. First of all, anyone who knows me, knows that I go into the grocery store and am out in no time flat. I meandered tonight. Dunno why...just did. I stood in the soup isle for the longest time, picked up cans, placed them back on the shelf and then ultimately didn't buy any soup. It sure looked good though.

When I checked out, the bag boy (courtesy clerk) asked me how I was doing. I said, "Good, thanks. And yourself?" Though I often speak low or mumbled, this was not the reason for his reponse of, "Come again?" My VIBE METER went off...and I knew that his question was laid in the disbelief that someone was asking him how he was. I live here now...but I won't get used to that treatment...and everyone should have a smile for today.

So those little things....a light bulb connected to the light switch, a 4-prong light strip upgraded to a 6-pring, the garabe taken out, the toilet plunged, drano for the shower drain, dishes washed & in the dishwasher...oh...I forgot to eat. There are still clothes to hang and a bunch of other little shit.

Randy is having din din with his old roommate and her boyfriend. I passed in my current mood. Tomorrow a DanceSafe meeting, I'm ecstatic. =(

And I get to wake up tomorrow to do it all over again.

j.r.me

taste

I'm kinda buzzed still. Nathan, Randy & I went out to dinner at Chevy's to celebrate Nathan's promotion. The ying. The yang. Life balances out the energy in order to look at it straight on and make decisions. I'm often frustrated by the time it takes Nathan to see his life and make choices to then turn it to the better...but then, there is a similar lag time in different areas for myself. Perhaps the ying and yang of multiple lives.

We are all moved into our new apartment and I feel like i'm home. I feel at ease and I'm very secure in the surroundings. Sometimes I wish that I still didn't have to work to maintain everything that I have, but that's the child still screaming and kicking at the bedroom door as I would like to do. Instead i still use the ettiquette that has been taught to fulfill us. Ick.

Being somewhat still buzzed....skin sensations are not normal. Dull. Hard to believe that a whole month has gone by since the last entry and I've only proven to myself that discipline to write is not at all in the realm of my norm. Blah.

j.r.me